ain’t as good as i once was

I drink it all in from my strangely serene position floating in the middle of the lake—the distant hum of the motor, the refreshing cool of the glistening water, the acrobatics of a silvery fish leaping just beyond the boat. Deep breath in as I revel in the beauty surrounding me. The rope pulls taught, and my hands instantly tighten their grip on the handle. Every muscle strung from my neck down to my toes responds in memory as it works in tandem with the others to keep the ski centered.

“Ready!” The power of the boat pulls me upward as the ski cuts deep against the water and my body emerges. My core fights to maintain position until the moment has passed and I am gliding on top of the wake.

Though it’s been two years since I’ve done this, and I’ve weathered injuries in between, my body intimately knows the rhythm as I lean deftly to the right to cut out onto the glassy water and quickly redirect my ski back to the left, skating swiftly across both the smooth water and roughened wake on out to the other side, where I lean back and let the boat pull me as far out as I dare to go, water spraying up from my ski in a beautiful arc that sparkles in the sun. I can’t help but shout with joy.

I love this.

It is a gift. “Every good and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change” (James 3:17). This verse, most commonly used in the context of a congratulatory new baby sentiment, also carries significance in a much broader way. Every, single gift, from something as small as a stunning morning sunrise or a momentary reprieve from pain to a lifechanging occasion like a wedding or a baby, is cause to give thanks to God.

I cannot help but praise the Lord for these ten minutes of glory on the slalom, even as my muscles begin to burn with exertion and the burn quickly morphs into a tremble. I don’t want to let go, but I also know better than to push my body’s limits. Injuries will do that do you. Heart full, I blow a kiss, throw my arms up in victory as I release the rope, and slowly sink as the boat turns to retrieve me.

You see, over a decade ago, I did not know if I would ever water ski again. I did not know if I would ever be able to hike without pain, comfortably ride my bike for exercise, or participate in high impact aerobics. After four years of persistently unpredictable pain in my right hip, alongside countless doctor and physical therapy appointments, I was at the end of my rope, both physically and emotionally. In His perfect timing, however, the Lord led me to the right physicians who expertly diagnosed the tear in the labrum of my hip.

Surgically fixed and religiously rehabilitated with 18 months of PT plus another year of further studies and treatment after an additional tear of my sartorius was discovered, I finally began to ease my way back into blood-pumping physical activity. A few years later I was back up on the slalom. Truly a gift. In the words of Toby Keith, “I ain’t as good as I once was, but I’m as good once as I ever was.” Those are definitely not spiritually inspired lyrics (wink), but the words ring resoundingly true for my attempt at water-skiing!

There will come a day when my body simply will not have the strength to sustain a run on the water, but until that day comes, I will take joy in every moment skimming the glittering surface. When my body finally says no more, I will rejoice in the memories from this earth and also in the promise of a new day. The renewal and restoration to be found in Jesus steadies my walk in this world, especially as my body experiences both the chronic and acute effects of aging.

“What is sown is perishable; what is raised is imperishable. It is sown in dishonor; it is raised in glory. It is sown in weakness; it is raised in power. It is sown a natural body; it is raised a spiritual body…Behold! I tell you a mystery. We shall not all sleep, but we shall all be changed, in a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet. For the trumpet will sound, and the dead will be raised imperishable, and we shall be changed. For this perishable body must put on the imperishable, and this mortal body must put on immortality. When the perishable puts on the imperishable, and the mortal puts on immortality, then shall come to pass the saying that is written: ‘Death is swallowed up in victory. O death, where is your victor? O death, where is your sting?” (1 Corinthians 15:42-44, 51-55).

In that moment, I will be better than I ever was, stretching into the boundlessness of eternity, all because of the kindness of Jesus Christ. I pray the same for you, my friends.